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e martë, 21 shtator 2010
This is getting too much...
I want to stay strong. to keep up my faith. to be the best of myself. but for once. even if it's just for awhile. I have to say. I give up. I want to let things pass. I want to drink till im drunk. I want to make enemies. I want to feel selffish. I want to be angry. I want to be childish. because I have been trodding a path so uncertain. so very uncertain. And how can people understand. how I have fought the fight for 6 years. how I battled injury. Shame. and encountered victory. all the time I sacrificed. I had a dream before I entered the sports school. and it was to live to my fullest potential. to be the best that i can be in my sport. since i was in. I alwasy had that desire. that burning passion. with such a flame so strong. it had not burned out for close to 6 years. the test of the power of the flame lies not with the intensity of which it burns, but with the duration in which it burns. surviving the harsh winter colds. in my heart. yes. I still want it very much. i still have so much to give to the sport. im not giving up without the great fight. it dont matter how or what others do or say. I am going to do whatever it takes. whatever it takes. . whatever it takes.
or now so the door may seem to be rather closed. but after a drink or two my worries seem to blend in with a bad dream. in the end. at the very end. I will go down saying, at least I tried my very best and I believed. I truly madly believed in my dream. and I wanted to bad enough to make my days count. yes yes yes yes yes
even in the midst of complete corruption can rise a hero to bring reformation.
do something. oh Lord do something... DO SOMETHING.
or otherwise take away my love for my sport. take it all away. that I may be a normal guy.
amongst normal people. living a normal life.
but from the start i never wanted to be normal.
Signed Off @7:44 p.d.
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